Friday, 28 December 2012

2012- the good, the bad, the ugly.

2012 has been a bit of a tough journey for me. I feel like I have done some serious growing up and learnt vital lessons about myself. I feel like i've been put through the paces of what I can cope with it and come out the other side stronger, again. It's been a while since I have got to the end of the year and thought: actually, this one has been a good one. Quite frankly i've had an awful lot to deal with over the last 5 years or so, hopefully 2013 will have some treats up its sleeve for me. I thought long and hard about how to write this post, without dwelling on the past too much or without it turning into a novel of my year. so here we go-

The month of the 21st birthday. I had a lovely birthday party with family and friends- mainly friends I don't speak to anymore... ironically. I got my DSLR, I weighed 8 stone, I started this blog- although I definitely no longer count this as the start date. In January life felt magnificent. 

Not such a magnificent month, nothing massively happened but I knew that not everything was okay and that I was heading to a massive life change. Valentines Day happened, I don't remember celebrating it. 

My beautiful sister, Laura, turned 23. I was working all day and skipped out of work to have lunch with them... the food arrived too late for me to have any and I remember being heart broken about not getting to spend the day with her. Things needed to change. 

What to say about April? April was absolutely horrific. I survived it by not thinking, not breathing (not literally), drinking too much, discovering who my friends really were and going to the gym. I split from my ex, my sister ended up in hospital. I felt like everything bad that could happen was happening.

To me, May feels like the time that everything started to fall into place. The first thing that I did was fly half way across the world and deal with my anger and pain from New York City. It worked, I cried finally. I laughed finally. I felt happier than I had felt in months and I got my fighting spirit back. I returned home a completely different person to the girl I had ever been. I started again on my blog.

June was significantly better, I massively bounced back and became very proactive. I finally got out of Costa and into my job at the University. I was ecstatic. I managed to swap my exes ticket for Hackney Festival for one for my best mate and we had the best time. My mum had a massive operation and it went really well, although that was difficult- her improved health is the main thing.

Ah the month that the sun didn't shine for Britain but it certainly shone for me. I started my new job, I was getting paid more. I was so happy, happier than I had been in years and then I became certain that the decision I made in April was by far the best decision I could have made. 

The best part of August was seeing my absolute best friend in the world, Jess, at Reading Festival. It was impromptu and neither of us expected to see each other. We laughed so hard we had headache and we fawned over Dave Grohl and Frank Turner, it was just perfect. 

I drunk far too much in september and spent alot of money on makeup. Thats about the most interesting thing that happened. 

October has always been my favourite month of the year, I just love halloween and the early christmas prep. I went to see my Grandparents and properly hung out with my cousins for the first time in years. It was a nice, comfortable month. 

It was a mental month and I didn't enjoy it one bit. I found that work was becoming too much and that I was expected to do more than I could cope with or, quite frankly, being paid for. I slept alot and I was generally bad tempered. 

The month started amazingly, I got myself a permanent role in the university which I am starting right at the begininning of 2013, a fresh start for a new year. Like everyone else I got in a seriously festive mood, had a brilliantly expensive, drunken, christmas party. Ate too much, got a sickness bug, had a brilliant christmas day and for the first time in 6 months... I had time off work!

A complete year of brilliant moments, low blows and complete shockers. All that I am glad for is that I will be starting 2013 with people who do love me in my life. I have learnt that I am not patient, that I demand alot to be done very quickly and that I put pressure on the people nearest and dearest to me. Last year some people left my life in the worst possible way and I completely wish I could apologise and end on better terms but that won't happen so I need to forget it. I know I have my bad points and I have had them painfully pointed out by an old friend. But we all have bad points and I'm okay with mine. 2013 is a fresh start and I know that this time next year my life will completely have turned around. 

I'd love to hear how 2012 went for you, and what you are expecting from 2013?



  1. I think every year we have our ups and downs, so it is absolutely best to never dwell on the past horrors. :) I just started reading your blog in the past month or so? And I enjoy it. Your readers will always be there to share in support for anything you do. <3

    1. I'm really glad that you like my blog :) You're so right we shouldn't dwell on old demons, we can't change them can we- onwards and upwards I say. thank you for your support :) xxx

  2. Sounds like 2012 was eventful for you! I'm glad it ended on a positive note - let's hope 2013 continues this way for you! x

    1. it definitely was, so glad it's nearly done with haha! Thank you babes, I hope 2013 treats you well too :) xx

  3. Love your blog & now following you as well.
    Thanks for sharing your personal review on 2012.
    Best of luck for 2013! xoxo.

    PrettyGloss - makeup, beauty & a lil gibberish

    1. Hi Sarah, thank you for following! I hope next year treats you well too :)

  4. Awh this is a great post. My year has actually been very similar to yours! After splitting with my ex at the start of the year it was difficult at first, then I got a job at a university college and things have been getting better and better! :)

    Karys x

    1. really?! amazing, I hope that mine continues in the way that yours is & that i'm a very happy chappy soon as well :) I hope 2013 is good to you hun :) xx

  5. I love this post. Happy New Year, I hope 2013 brings all that you hope for and more! x


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